Out of nowhere the past will raise up & catch me in it's waves, threatening to pull me under once again. Memories claw for my attention & I'm just too weary to fight them every single time. Maybe, deep down, I'm afraid of history repeating itself. . . so the echoes of the past beckon me. Some of the same. .. pitfalls we had that nearly killed us before are tiptoeing around the chaos. The distance. The lack of communication. The "busyness" It's all there at my fingertips & I have to decide if its real enough to be concerned about or if its just distant yesterdays wanting to make me doubt & fall into that darkness.
I don't always know how to move forward, to take another step. Sometimes it seems easier to stand still. . .to let it all fall apart then to keep fighting. My hands feel bloody & raw from trying to keep the sky from tumbling down in shambles. . .& I wonder if I always fight alone. Am I the only one that can see all of this? The only one that cares?
Maybe . . .maybe.
"a year goes by, & I can't talk about it" Flyleaf
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