Some days I wonder if its all worth it. . . I spend so much time alone. . .even when we are in the same room the grand canyon sits between us. I use the same words over & they fall flat on the ground leaving me empty. I hate this feeling, like I don't measure up. . .the days when I want to shatter the mirror from everything that pulls me down. The moments when all I want to do is scream to the sky as it crumbles down around me. So why do I stay? I've been called a fool , a doormat for staying. . .& sometimes I wonder if the din is right. It would be easier, some days, to just throw up my hands & walk away when everything is burning down. Rome is in ruins & I feel helpless running around picking up all the pieces with bloody fingers & broken palms. Sometimes I don't want to move. . I just want to stay still & let the wind tear us to pieces. It all falls down & leaves me wounded in the blazing sun & its all I can do to breathe. . .& I need to believe every day is a new day , a new chance. I can can get down on my knees & scream to the sky & be heard by the Maker of the stars. Dear Jesus.
There i sat alone in the car the weight of what you'd done around me oh all around me and with the water rushing down my eyes it was all that i could do, not to scream" Eisley
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