welcome

This blog is meant to be a safe place for anyone who has to deal with the aftermath of being with a porn addict. I know in today's society it is not a big deal to many, but to some of us, its cheating & we do NOT want it in our marriage. I am one of those women :) This is my safe place, my haven. This is where I will pour out my heart & soul, & be honest. This is a new ministry God has laid on my heart, to reach out to others in this struggle. If you happen to find this blog & are dealing with it too, feel free to comment. Know you are not alone.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

every night you fall to pieces

It's been a while. I've been busy with both kids. My daughter is now one.
Things haven't really changed much. I haven't even brought anything up anymore. Talking to him is next to impossible, no matter what it's about. He'd rather talk to his friend. He'd rather play his games. He'd rather look a fake naked chicks. I know this.
So when does one say enough is enough? I'm sure a lot would of packed up & left now. .. & it makes me wonder if I'm just weak. .. or is this strength? I believe marriage is worth fighting for, but. ..shouldn't both be fighting for it? it's hard to fight when ya always stand alone.
Sometimes I wonder if he even cares anymore. I know I am not perfect. . .never claimed to be. Maybe i expect too much? Maybe I don't do enough? I've seen wives of men with porn problems blamed. They dont do enough. Aren't kinky enough etc etc. What if there is some truth to that? What if in the end, it really is ALL me to blame?
*sigh*
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